I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i think im in europe. pls send help
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
