...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
