my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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