I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
false alarm. still invincible.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
