my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
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Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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