Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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