Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
