i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
