And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
