Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
