We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
