Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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