So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
