This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
