We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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