ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
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Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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