i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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