yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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