If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize