You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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