im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
