: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Who died my cat blue again?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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