In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
