farters have to be the big spoon...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
