Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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