thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
