Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
