So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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