Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
