I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
