Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize