Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
