Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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