Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
