this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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