my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
