allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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