Welp...herpes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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