Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
