I could have mohawked her pubes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
