some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
