it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
