dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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