Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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