your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I sprained my soul last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
