dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
