My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
