Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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