"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
