Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize