i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
