You're my little dorito
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
