I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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