she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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