Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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